The Right Foll For The Job
By Corky

      We plan to re-side our home next year. In the meantime, the peeling paint gives our place that cozy condemned look. I never paid much attention until our son's friend called it "the house with the scratches on it."
      To keep the demolition crew at bay, Dan wants to post a public notice out front. Like those "FUTURE SITE OF..." signs, it would convey our plans in a professional manner, i.e., "DON'T LAUGH, FOLKS -- WE'RE FIXING IT UP." I'm just glad our fellow homeowners haven't joined forces to heave it from the neighborhood.
      Things can go wrong when you transplant a house. Just ask the Buckrops from Rural Edgington, Illinois. After buying their abode, they opted to go country. Literally. They took great pains to transport their Home Sweet Home down the road apiece. But fate dealt a heavy blow when their house fell off its makeshift trailer en route. They should write a song about the experience. Possible title, "Take My Home, Country Road". It's destined to be a smash.
      You wouldn't catch me moving a house. I'm not big on change anyway. It takes me months just to yank down the Christmas decorations. One day Dan counted the remains of four separate holidays still hanging around. We wish you a merry Easter and a Happy New 4th!
      Our biggest home improvement involved buying Thermopane windows. We had to. The ancient portholes in This Old Shack had a tendency to crack when opened. Moments after hiring a local company, a crew of no-nonsense workers descended upon us. They did a fine job but the noise and commotion induced a day-long headache. I grabbed the aspirin and planned to pour myself some water when I spied a six-foot dude straddling the kitchen sink.
      The issue homeowners face is whether to do it yourself and save a bundle (unless you count emergency room fees) or go in hock and be invaded by a swarm of professionals. At least we HOPE they're professionals. Contractors are like trees. Some have weathered the test of time while others are shady as all get out.
      If you go that route, make sure you investigate a company thoroughly before signing a contract. Find out how long they've been in business. Talk to previous customers. Whatever it takes. Because it's important to have the right fool for the job.

      Corky is Lois Corcoran. Her column appears in the Ft. Worth Star Telegram Online and on a free parenting e-zine, The "M" Word.
"Jest Between You and Me," is now available at Hard Shell Word Factory. For a short reading, visit the Free Gallery of Authors' Voices.